No matter if I light scented candles, or softly play the Enya CD on repeat  or fill the bath with passionfruit-mango-sorbet bubbles….I just can’t relax. To me baths make no sense…how can lying in a tub of dirty warm water be relaxing?

Since I was a small child, I have not been a fan of baths. Deep down on a subconcious level, I probably associate baths with my childhood bathtime routine – sharing a small tub with 2 younger sisters, I was always awkwardly placed closest to the tap .…’the hot end’, straining my neck on a weird angle to avoid being hit by the metal tap. I am 100% sure they both had ‘accidents’ in there (more often than not) – which means that I pretty much bathing in their piss. Gross. Not cool.

Despite my aversion to bath’s – I spontaneously decided to have a bath last Sunday night. Excitedly I got out my candles, created a ‘nix mix- bathtime’ playlist and bought some lavender bubbles. I actually quite enjoyed myself as I very sunk into the warm water. Initially, I tried reading the Sunday newspaper. I failed miserably. After 2 minutes flat I submerged it like the Titantic. Turning it into a paper-mache blob. However, I didn’t let this affect my morale, instead I just closed my eyes & tried to relax…..

Admittedly, I really enjoyed the whole experience…..UNTIL….I ATTEMPTED TO GET OUT….

Upon getting out, I noticed a dark brown floating mysterious object.…..I PICKED IT UP.……

I SCREAMED. I CRIED. I SLAPPED MY BODY ERRATICALLY.

It was a COCKROACH.

I had just shared my bath with a dead cockroach.

My mind jumped to the possibility of it laying eggs in my ears. I felt so dirty. I don’t think I have ever scrubbed myself so clean. It still makes my stomach churn. It had not been there when I filled the bath up…it must have floated out of the drain.

In an attempt to forget the whole situation, I  distracted myself….by design. To try to remain positive about baths, I searched for the most beautiful bathtubs I could find…